Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Harmless Legitimate Words that Sound Naughty

So maybe I have the maturity of a ten-year-old, but I can’t help but chuckle every time I hear some one say “disseminate” and it just happened again today. As in, “Once we notify internal staff, we will disseminate the documents to our stakeholder groups.” Really? Is there really no other way to get that point across without resorting to such vulgar language? (side note – I know it’s not vulgar, but those of us who are kids at heart, or maybe just perverts at mind, are reduced to holding our laughter in like a fart on a first date.)


Rectify is another one of those innocuous words that seems to have much seedier connotations. When someone brings me a document to edit with that gem in it, I chuckle to myself and take out the big red pen cross it out and write “correct” or “fix” or “resolve” in its place.

So in acknowledgement of my immaturity, I decided to write up a quick list of other harmless words that can make this 29-year-old going on 11 chuckle. Please feel free to add your own.



Rectify

Disseminate

Pianist

Seamen

Minstrels

Booby-trap

Uranus

Rectory

Titillating

“White stuff” (from TV weathermen)

Erected

Honeré de Balzac (French novelist and playwright)

Penal Code

Dictate

Post dictated but not read by its author to be disseminated among the masses on the interwebs.

3 comments:

  1. I love the visuals created by "upended." And I long for a return of the days when sparkles were a staple of women's makeup, when you could accurately describe a woman's face as "glitterous."

    I'd add a few more, KayGee, but that would be "below me."

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  2. My boss is always asking me for "Penetration Reports". I HATE the word penetrate.

    Also, on a flight recently, the couple next to me ordered the cheese and cracker plate. She asks her husband "how do we eat this, do I cut the cheese?". And with that I started giggling like a schoolgirl. Luckily her husband joined my giggles.

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  3. When I hear the word "duties" I thin of a poop doodie... thanks to that Friends episode.

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